shufflng

midnight monotony breeding bereft blasphemy malicious monsters carving caustic catcalls raking ringing tick tocking timeclock sinister shuffling shadows lurk looming lightning lessens fruitless frenetic fears darkness dooms, whispy war wages pillows pickle slimy sweat seeping closet creeps creak, moaning madness silent steps shift branches beckoning sudden snap luminous lightning lingers

Am I settling like my father did? Taking logical steps with the best I can get?          They never got a divorce, but the muffled shouts still shook me from my childhood slumber.  I would lie wide awake and wonder, staring at the golden beam of light beneath my door.  The hallway light stayed on at night after my terrors began. I screamed at the same time every night.The intro music to Night Court would be coming from the tiny speakers of my parents' panasonic, the two of them tucked in and cozy, hoping tonight might be different.  Maybe our baby boy will be okay today, maybe he won't come screaming bloody murder.  Maybe he'll stay in be

Sitting in a university classroom late in life I hear the tiny voices of my youth shout through the lacquer of my experiences.  I could not have known that this is how my understanding would feel so many years later, when in my youth I couldn't see past the curiosity of my own nose. The frustration of my patience is tempered by this thought, by this quiet screaming, gurgling under the surface.  It is so satisfying to know that I would be biting my tongue now, if now were then, and if I were the man now I was then.  Thankfully, by no predetermination, I chose a life away from this place for enough time to learn the lessons and know how now not

It's a safe bet that one's been left but a bet is a guess underlining a yes which undermines the no that I remember to the only question i chose to answer "I don't like it, I don't like it!"  But do you still want me to do it? "Yeah,"  Ok.  "I just wanna know,"  Note to self:   Manipulative factor needs to be explained more thoroughly. "And you're willing to do that?"  Explain it?  "Yeah!" Yeah. "That's the kind of secret I'd keep to myself!" Oh, no. You prolly won't understand when I'm done anyway. "Ah, thanks, thanks." You might! "Thanks" I don't understand it fully, I'm going to be making things up on the spot  "Of course, yo

Starting with three and ending with ten our understanding will come without a singular bend. Sometimes I stare at the street, ancient pavement to me, and ponder what wonders linger beneath. It can never be known if we've come the right way in all of our industrious "progress". We surround ourselves with the fruits of our labor which reverse themselves as vines of villainy through time. I wonder if the dolphins in Atlantis worry about their ecological fin-print, or even our own. Does that meniscus of experience save them from our fate?

Duff Hunting:  An Essay on Getting the One You Want to Fight for You duff 1 (duf) n. [[dial. variation of dough, with ff for ME –gh (see laugh), orig. pronounced (kh); senses 2 & 3 < ? ]]  1. a thick flour pudding boiled in a cloth bag or steamed, often containing dried fruit  2.  decaying vegetable matter on the ground in a forest  3.  coal dust or slack duff 2 (duf) n.  [